pmsumner

Time Research Archetype Programming (TRAP):

Time, relatively speaking (get it?), stops for no man. It does, however, stop for women. This odd, disproportionate occurrence may be observed when women, either individually or as a group enter toilet facilities. Once inside, time slows for them but remains constant for men. It may seem to the male of the species that the female is spending an inordinate amount of time within the facility. To women, the time spent is mere seconds.

Seeking to harness this capability - which would prove valuable in any number of circumstances, but most especially on future intersolar trips where time is our enemy - GDLabs has assembled an entire department to investigate and understand the phenomena, as well as other time-based oddities including the following:

1. Why are Friday afternoons so long?
2. How do microwaves cook so much faster than convections? Can we use microwave power to speed up other functions, such as long automobile trips and televised golf?
3. Is it true that a watched pot never boils, and if so, does the observation cool the liquid or slow time to prevent the liquid from boiling?
4. Can you get younger by sleeping in reverse?
5. Can vacation days really be prolonged by imbibing alcohol?
6. If all clocks were manufactured to go slower, would time be similarly effected?
7. If you pour more money into research projects with no useful value rather than projects with a benefit, will the useless project take on a perceived benefit merely due to that funding?